WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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