So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
