I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
