i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
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Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
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Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.