Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
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we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
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I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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