remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats