You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
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got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men