Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.