I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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