This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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