I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So vagazzling was a success
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
