i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
