Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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