guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
