thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
