Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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