How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
