You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
