mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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