about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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