How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
