I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
