I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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