Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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