you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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