Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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