My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
