He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize