i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
