I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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