just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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