its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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