worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
