His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
