pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
