fuck your aforementioned shoe
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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