I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
