My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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