Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
