i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
