i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
