"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
