one might say we're banned from that church
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
