Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
