her vagine was all disorganized.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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