you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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