you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dignity is for republicans.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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