***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
