you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
