Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
