Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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