i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Barsexuality is the new black.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
