Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The uberlube is also flammable
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
