Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
