ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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