Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
