the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
