the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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