I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
