Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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