i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There r osticjed everywhere
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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