take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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