before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
