We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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