She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize