Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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