Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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