this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
