Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
