idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
