Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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