does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
