is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
