I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Your tits are I can't wait for
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
